Ten Things I’ve Learned in Ten Years as a Published Author

As I may have mentioned once or twice (ahem), March 28th saw the tenth anniversary of me becoming a published author. In that time I’ve learned a few things, and I thought I’d share some of them with you, just in case you’re a would-be writer who’s wondering what you may be faced with in the future. So, in no particular order, here we go!

1 - You’re going to have to learn to show off.

I know! Horror! Especially if you’re British. I mean, it’s just not done, is it?

But to be a writer, you really do have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. There can be no hiding away - unless you don’t care if only your mum ever reads the book (which is absolutely fine, by the way, but in that case you probably won’t need to read the rest of this post).

You’ll need to “sell” your book. Make it sound so irresistible that readers will be compelled to go out and buy it. And that sounds suspiciously like blowing your own trumpet, doesn’t it? It’s the kind of thing that your teacher would have told you to pipe down for at school, and would have earned you a disgusted look from every adult in the vicinity.

Never mind building confidence. We’re brought up to believe that modesty is everything, and the whole world hates a show off. Yet, you’re going to have to forget all that, ignore the inner voice that’s telling you how cringeworthy you are, and inform people that you’ve written an entire book, and it’s actually really good, and they absolutely won’t want to miss out on it.

Oh, the agony!

The sad truth is, if you want others to discover your writing you’re going to have to get “out there” and tell them all about it, and how great it is. And that can be sooo hard.

In fact, unless you’re a jolly, extroverted, optimistic, supremely confident being, it can be excruciating.

You might want to start the therapy in advance. Like now.

2 - You’ll need to learn multiple new skills.

Yes, there’s no getting round that, unless you can figure out a way to pay for other people to do the necessary for you.

From setting up an Author Central page on Amazon to creating a website; from learning how to make promo graphics on Canva to filling in a tax return (or finding a halfway competent accountant who won’t charge you more than the tax due), it’s a massive learning curve.

It’s hard work, but it can be so rewarding when you’ve got a few new skills under your belt. Just be warned that you’ll probably have to buy a bigger belt to tuck them under, because you’ll eat a ton of chocolate while you’re trying to figure all this stuff out.

Oh, and the air will probably turn blue while you’re learning it, so close the door before you start if you share your living space with someone of a delicate nature.

Don’t worry. You’ll get used to the chaos!

3 - Bad reviews can put you off writing for an entire day.

In my opinion, reviews should be avoided at all costs. You will get some good ones. You will probably get some glowing ones. But you will also get some bad ones, some cruel ones, and some downright evil ones.

Some reviewers are angels who say only lovely, kind things. Some reviewers tell the truth as they see it, but in an honest and considered way. Some seem to take a vindictive pleasure in ripping your writing to shreds, telling you everything you did wrong, how they would have done it so much better, and that even if the book was free, it was still too much to pay for the sheer dross you’ve produced.

You can’t know for sure which of these you’re about to read. Even the number of stars can be deceiving, lulling you into a false sense of security. I’ve had kind three-star reviews, and four or five-star reviews that came with the sort of comments that had me weeping into my coffee and unable to write another word all day.

I once had a review posted on my author page where a reader really ripped into my book - and me. Not only did she give most of the plot away (please, gentle reader, never, ever do that!) but she demanded to know if I had children, because if I did how could I write such filth and set such a bad example to them? “For God’s sake,” she raged, “you have a responsibility!”

The fact is, my books can hardly be called filth. If you’ve read them you’ll know that only two of my thirty-three books have sex scenes in them, and one’s so brief and so tame it’s hardly worth mentioning, while the other is in keeping with my lead character and played entirely for laughs.

Not only that, but how did I have a responsibility to the nation’s children when my books are clearly aimed at adults?

Nevertheless, I was an inexperienced author then, and her scathing and rather rude review completely floored me. In fact, by the time I’d finished reading her rant, I was shaking and in tears. Luckily, I had a group of author friends who helped me put the whole thing into perspective, and we had a good laugh about it eventually.

These days I avoid reviews unless they’re by book bloggers, and I’ve been tagged in them. It’s a shame because I get to miss a lot of the good stuff (although some people will let me know if there’s anything really lovely).

I generally stay well away from review sites and take the view that what the eye can’t see the heart can’t grieve over. The odd time I’ve strayed over there, my curiosity getting the better of me, it’s rarely ended well. Writer beware.

Oh, get over it, woman! Sticks and stones and all that…

4 - You need a writing tribe.

No one will ever understand you like another writer. When your eyes glaze over mid-conversation, only a fellow author will recognise that you’re not being rude; you’re just running a scene through your mind, and it’s not your fault if the characters are demanding your attention, is it?

Where would I have been when I saw that horrible review if I hadn’t had my author friends to turn to? Who would I have celebrated my brilliant news with, even when it was top secret and strictly not to be shared with anyone, because I absolutely knew I could rely on them not to breathe a word. We can rant to each other, cry with each other, cheer each other up, encourage each other when one of us is on the verge of giving up… Well, you get the picture.

This writing lark is one of the most uppy-downy, top-of-the-world to depths-of-despair occupations you could ever do, and you’re going to need people around you who get that. Trust me.

5 - People will try to scam you.

There are all sorts of sharks out there, swimming in the wider publishing pool. People who promise you the world and do nothing but take your money and leave you with nothing. Or worse. Like tied to a contract that would have had more experienced authors running at top speed in the opposite direction the minute they saw it.

People will offer to write reviews for your books - for a price. You’ll pay an editor or a proofreader, then discover you could have done a better job yourself. I once sent in a manuscript of a hundred and seventy-seven thousand words and it came back with eleven corrections. Yep. Truly. I know!

You’ll also get endless messages in your inbox, offering this service or that service. Join the Society of Authors if you’re a UK writer, or your country’s equivalent if you’re not, and take advice. Ask other authors. Join author groups on social media (check the other members and make sure you’ve heard of at least some of them) and see if any of them have used the services you’re interested in. Ask for recommendations. Above all, be vigilant!

And on top of all that you have to contend with the people who download your book, read the whole thing, then return it for a refund, ensuring you not only lose the royalty payment, but still have to pay the ebook delivery charge to Amazon, so you’re actually down on money. Or those who download your book from a pirate site (hopefully with a rotten malware attached). Not to mention the mega-rich corporations who scrape your books for their AI training so that Amazon can be flooded with books written by machines, taking a huge share of the earnings from its subscription service. To add insult to injury, those machines will no doubt do us all out of a job one day. Ah, the joys of it all…

6 - You won’t know where you are from one day to the next.

Writing isn’t for people who crave security. If you want to know what you’re going to earn each month - if you actually want to be paid each month for that matter - you might want to think about finding a different job.

Many publishers pay quarterly, six-monthly, or annually. Sometimes, payments are late. Sometimes, payments aren’t entirely accurate. Some payments will surprise you by being higher than expected. Other times you’ll gasp in horror and need a stiff drink to get over the shock - if only you could afford to buy one.

Quite often you’ll have no idea what to expect until payday. Or royalty statements might come in the same day, or maybe the day before if you’re lucky. And if you’ve had an advance it might be years before you earn it out. Or never.

Indie authors have access to their sales and know what’s coming each month, but checking the royalties daily (and we’ve all done it) can be a rollercoaster ride. A bad day can cast a gloom over you that you just can’t shake off.

And there are other uncertainties, too. If you’re with a publisher, rather than indie, contracts may not be renewed. You might be halfway through a series when you’re told the publisher is pulling the plug on it. Deadlines can be moved around. Publishing dates might be brought forward or pushed back. You might lose your editor (careless of you!) and find yourself working with a new one who doesn’t quite seem to “get” your books the way your old editor did.

Let’s face it, it’s a minefield. You might want to take up yoga or meditation or mindfulness. Or gin.

Only kidding about the gin. Personally, I prefer cake.

7 - Rich writers are few and far between.

Don’t expect to earn a fortune. For every rich author there’s one sitting behind a till in a supermarket because there’s no way on earth they could ever live off their writing earnings. You’ll learn to manage your expectations. Eventually.

I’ve had times when I made so many sales that I got a bonus on top of my royalties. I’ve had other times when I made less in a day than I’d have got for an hour working a minimum wage job. I’ve had more of the latter. True story.

When I left my job back in 2018, I had nine or ten indie books out. Today I have twenty-seven indie books out and I’m making the same amount of money from them as I was back then. How does that even work?

Apparently, the average annual wage for a writer is £7,000, so if you’ve made enough money to pay tax, you’re smashing it. Congratulations!

8 - There are some great things about being an author.

There is nothing more exciting than holding a copy of your book in your hand. Except maybe seeing someone else with a copy of your book in their hand.

And getting a fabulous review that makes your heart sing.

And seeing a little orange bestseller flag on your book on Amazon.

And getting a gorgeous message from a reader who tells you how much your book meant to them.

And being told by someone that you’re their favourite author.

And learning that your little book meant so much to them that they can’t thank you enough.

Seriously, there are a lot of downs to being an author, but there are a heck of a lot of ups, too.

9 - Other writers are not your enemy!

And what you’ll quickly figure out is that, actually, they’re mostly the best friends you could ever have.

Okay, there are some authors who might be a bit standoffish, or look at you as competition. But, in my experience at least, the vast majority are lovely, supportive, and very kind.

“A rising tide lifts all boats”, as they say, and it’s true. Share other authors’ book news, congratulate them when something good happens to them, commiserate with them when they’re down, tell your readers if you’ve read another author’s book and can recommend it. Be supportive!

And just remember - that newbie author you’re mean to, or dismissive of, might one day be better known than you! In fact, you might bump into her at an author event one day and discover her surrounded by loyal and devoted fans, and then you’ll remember how you once bullied her and demeaned her. Hmm. Won’t you feel silly then?

She’s going to get backache if she sits like that for too long…

10 - You get to work in your pyjamas!

Seriously, being a writer isn’t usually very glamorous, and it can be really hard work, contrary to what many people think. I can remember going into my day job, already exhausted after getting up early to spend the entire morning writing, and being asked by a colleague why I looked so tired because, after all, writing wasn’t real work, was it? Aarrgghh!

But the truth is, we get to make up stuff for a living. We get to tell the stories that burn within us. We get to explore new worlds and inhabit new characters, and see life through totally different eyes. How fabulous is that?

And, yeah… the pyjamas bit, too. Totally worth it for that alone.

Have a great week.